Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God. Ecclesiastes 5:7
I have searched for her and prayed for her that I may possess her. I have tried to manufacture her in the confines of my finite understanding. I have tried to dig her out of the finite understanding of women and men whom I have loved. I have opened pages of books and websites seeking her as treasure found by older people who came before me. I have found her in the Word of God. Wisdom.
Solomon asked God for wisdom. Then he wrote down what God taught him. I have experienced similar yet smaller lessons and find confirmation in Solomon's words. I suppose I had to embrace the meaninglessness in order to believe him.
Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body.
Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.
For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.