Moments Pass

I have a problem with passing moments. I don't like the fact that they pass. I'm not a fan of linear reality, even though I've known nothing else. Well, that's not exactly true, I've known dreams. In dreams there seems to be no consistent time frame. You can bounce in and out of different scenarios without warning but you can also stay in one world for what seems like a day and wake up five minutes later. While we can't retain most of what happens in our souls while we dream, we do feel a sense of wonder upon waking.

It breaks my heart to have to hurry my child from one event to another, even if I know she will have more fun at the place we are rushing off to. I wish we could stay in the moment she is in...forever. There are moments in the worship of God that I find my heart bursting and overflowing with His loving presence. But there is always grasping as the moment vanishes with the ticking second-hand. I just want to scream, "Noooo!" as the moment quickly becomes a memory and I am back to the dullness of my earthly life. What about the most beautiful sunset you've ever seen? Then it is night and your photograph only mocks your memory and reminds you of something you will never have again. Photographs and memories just aren't good enough are they?

We are constantly going through loss here. We lose our innocence first and then our health. People come and go and parties end. There's something so wrong about it all. In Heaven we will never have to stop playing and we will never leave the party. There will never be a dark night where beauty sinks into the background. Around every corner will be more dazzling displays than we can ever know here. Most magnificently, we will never have to stop worshiping God. Our eternal destiny is to behold Him without filters and to hold a moment with Him as long as we want in an incorruptible place with no limits on the vastness of our experience. While this world crumbles with every passing day, we can be confident that everything we have given to God is held in His safe-keeping for us to hold infinitely abounding forever.


Holding Fast

I'm facing a nice bouquet of challenges right now. A rocky marriage, feverish children with coughs and digestive pains, my worst night of sleep since Gabriel was a baby, my own sore throat and runny nose, my own digestive pains, and currently my sinus headache is making it hard to see the computer screen. But God is shining through all of this yuckiness with such beauty that I have to smile. He provided financially for Jon to fix his truck in a miraculous way, through the blessing of my earthly Dad. He has brought my Mom and Grandma here for this week and we are having a lovely time despite all the sickness. Elianna's fever broke at about 5am this morning, praise God! And even though I was woken up at 1:30, 3:22, 4:15, and 5:10 this morning I am able to put words together in coherent sentences. A nap will be crucial today so I pray the LORD will supply that need. My mom and I are going to get pedicures for fun girly time at the College of Cosmetology. Life is grand and God is such a good Papa! 

I will praise You, O LORD, with my whole heart;
I will tell of all Your marvelous works.I will be glad and rejoice in You;             

I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High.
Psalm 9:1,2


Looking for the X-traordinary

There's a longing in mankind to be super-human. I was made freshly aware of that as we watched X-Men: First Class last night on our anniversary date night. While the movie was X-cellent and the eff-X even more so, I left with an interesting thought that I felt I needed to X-press. My husband made the statement that the characters' creator Stan Lee must be living the life with all these movies being made based on his comic books. I said, "He will be more a few more years." He's the same age as my Grandma who turns 89 this year. The main idea behind X-men is that they are the next step in the evolution of mankind. Apparently all of their super powers are genetic mutations that have happened as a result of time and adaptation. Its too bad Stan Lee hasn't evolved yet. It looks like he is headed for Eternity along with the rest of mankind who hasn't evolved the regeneration gene. But he is an imaginative genius who hits the heart of a deep longing in humans. It's where we get all of our hero stories and action flicks. It's the longing to be saved by something greater than ourselves.

Jesus walked on water and turned a brown bagged lunch into a feast for thousands. Is that just a matter of molecular structure? Did God change each of Jesus' footsteps into a solid instead of a liquid or just multiply the atoms of the loaves and fish? Surely God is capable of manipulating things at a cellular level, He designed cells!

Jesus went beyond the laws and boundaries of this world. He also told His followers they would do even greater things than He had done. If this world is fallen and flawed then we all have something in us that was meant for life beyond death and the grave. We watch the amazing feats of these superheroes and we marvel (or DC?). There is eternity put in our hearts by God's design that makes us long for abilities we cannot "evolve" on our own. God is the source of those powers and His will is the environment in which we have permission to access our eternal nature. He wants us to know Him so well that we are like extensions of Heavenly realities. People in the bible have raised the dead, teleported, healed with their shadow and sweat, been immune to a venomous snake bite, walked through walls, called down fire from heaven, stopped the rain from falling, ran faster than horses, taken out an entire cathedral out with bare hands, taken out city walls by marching around and yelling at them, defeated an army with a choir, parted a sea with a stick, held back a river by standing in it, and welcomed every type of animal and bird as they came two by two without being chained or roped in. I'd say those are pretty super things for humans to be a part of.

The important thing is to have a relationship with the Creator of this place. Apart from Him we are capable of nothing that lasts. With Him we are in touch with the Source of our eternal purpose for existing. Death is wrong and we know it. Why work all this time just to turn into dust or ashes and be forgotten? Our love can be so deep and yet we are gone in an instant from this place leaving only our legacy that will be used by others in whatever way they see fit. If only we could regenerate and harness energy to stay young. If only we could make such a huge impact on this world that they build a statue in our honor. Is that really even good enough? I wouldn't want to live in this place of death forever. And I definitely wouldn't want some statue with bird poop on it to tell my story for me. All of my good things are being collected by my Father. He knows everything about all of us and keeps a record of it. The things I didn't do for Him will pass away with this world. But the things I have done unto the LORD will be my eternal legacy.

I would love to bring my Heavenly abilities to earth for His glory. It is mind-blowing to think I might be a supernatural hero for God. I already feel myself soaring high like an eagle over the lies of the enemy in the spiritual places. Maybe someday I will free the captives and sing open the prisons of despair with, "Holy is the LORD God Almighty! The whole earth is filled with His glory!" We all want to be extraordinary and live for something bigger than ourselves. It's not evolution that will make it happen, it's devotion.



My husband and I were watching America's Got Talent and I found myself inexplicably saddened by the number of people that were there to audition. So many people looking for their big break or a way to make a living doing what they love: showing people what they can do. Seeking and confidently looking forward to the approval of the audience and the judges, they put themselves on the altar of the stage to give their offering. Am I good enough at what I do? at who I am? Good enough to get applause and the privilege to enter the mouth of an even bigger dragon that knows no satisfaction...

I had the opportunity to show off my vocal talents for some baseball game people recently. They were trying to find people to sing the National Anthem at the games instead of just having recorded music. I practiced the difficult song and got overly psyched by watching past Nat'l Anthem performances online. I thought I would definitely be one of the more talented people that was there to sing. It became a competition even though there weren't enough singers there to fill the baseball game spots. They were going to take all of us anyway, but we were still comparing ourselves to one another. Look at what I can do... see how I bring something unique and special to this? I bet you'd never would have guessed that the voice you just heard could come out of an ordinary-looking person like me. I wonder who will be at the games? Maybe a talent scout will hear me and decide that I am worthy of an audience with someone they are connected with. You never know when your big break will come. If you don't get out there and sing, it may never happen...

It's all an illusion and I see that now. I may suffer from approval addiction or be a people pleaser, but God has shown me something eternally valuable right here and now in this dying place. I can't want the approval of man and also want the approval of God. One day there will come a time when I will be asked to perform a task that God would not approve of, by people who promise me approval. Will I be faithful to obey God amidst even the nods and atta-girls of an unfaithful people? Can I do something socially odd and risk being labeled and judged as "too religious" if it will please my Father?

Galatians 1:10 ... For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.

John 14:23 ...for they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.

Matthew 6:1-16 (Heavenly or earthly rewards?)

Let me tell you, it's scary to think that I would lose my reward in Heaven for the peanuts I could get here in this dying world. May I always find myself using my talents for His glory and may I seek only His approval for all that I do. Thank You, Father for saving me from losing my reward: Your approval. I love You.