"Beware of posing as a profound person; God became a Baby." Oswald Chambers
I was getting so frustrated because of all the things I felt were oppressing me today. All I wanted to do was to have some time to concentrate and when the kids finally went down for their nap, all I could do was lay on the couch and think of nothing. The traffic jam in my head was all the ambitions I have crowding each other for the right of way. The ones that managed to muscle their way through had everything to do with Thanksgiving dinner and bible study tomorrow. The urgent always pushes the hardest and honks the loudest. It is my pleasure to be blessed with Thanksgiving duties and bible study worship duties. I don't resent them at all, just like I don't resent my beautiful children that eat most of my time like little caterpillars munching a leaf. Some day they will hide in a cocoon and fly away as butterflies all but forgetting the time when they were dependent on me. So, no, I don't resent any of the wonderful blessings that take away my time. But I was frustrated nonetheless.
It's not the overflowing blessings that I have a problem with, it's managing them. Sometimes I wish my brain was more man-like with little compartments to put every area of my life. Units of time allotted for this important task and that one. And when I decide to open a compartment to access one thing I forget about all the rest and devote my time to the task at hand. As it is, I am so distracted that just the thought of completing a task with a short hour and a half of nap time is almost a joke. Maybe it's my obsession with closure or completion that keeps me from beginning anything I may not have time to finish.
The LORD reminds me of what's important. That this moment is not forever. He has things in the works that I know nothing about. The parts of my muddled brain He is scraping away at are at different points in the process. I may get an inkling of what His future plan is for my mind and try to rush into the desired behavior before He has made me ready. Hmmm, didn't I write a song about this once? Yes, I did. It's the one about being in God's hospital, going through intense surgery and having to wait on His healing before I could get up and move mountains. So maybe I'm not as far along as I feel sometimes. The tension in my back and neck seem to tell me that I have trouble resting in His peace.
God became a baby and learned to walk, talk, and use a human mind to do the Father's will. Complete trust accompanies supernatural peace, that of a child resting in the secure arms of her Father. How many times has Elianna told me, "I can do it myself!" when she can't? I have to just back off and watch her try until she is humbled by defeat and asks for help. That's the story of my life, child. Someday we will both learn that our Heavenly Father knows best. When we seek Him first it will all fall into place without traffic jams or frustrations. In this life I will have trouble and I will take heart knowing that Jesus overcame them already. Lord, thank You for Your Spirit who helps me remember all You teach me. Amen.