4/01/2012

At His Service

I've been divorced twice and both previous marriages were rushed into and not an act of obedience to God. While God hates divorce I think He also hates disobedience. It took two failed marriages for me to see how inept I was at choosing a mate or a future for myself. Finally I admitted that I didn't know what I wanted and I begged God to just take me as His hired servant (because I was even unfit for the devil's work at that point). He began ordering my steps when I was truly submitted to Him. I don't tell God what my dreams are anymore, I ask Him what they are.

Sometimes we find ourselves bound and gagged by our own disobedience, stuck in a marriage or an agreement that is miles away from where we ought to be. Let it be by God's grace that we are set free, even if it is only with freedom on the inside. A life of regrets and unrealized potential could be your fate, but at least you've avoided eternal separation from God. "Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rather rejoice because your names are written in Heaven.” So you may not win the souls that God intended for you to win had you been obedient from the start? Mourn for what might have been. Mourn for it in the same way you mourn for all those babies who'll never see the light of day; life never given a chance to live.When we didn't step up in obedience He had someone (or maybe it was a rock) that obeyed Him in our stead. Too bad for us! Get over it and get down on your face. He may have a job for you yet.

Sin is the death of our potential.We had so much promise before we disobeyed God in the garden. All of what we could've contributed to God's kingdom of ourselves died when we disobeyed Him for the first time. We should take what we get and grow where we are planted until we learn complete and utter surrender to our Creator. Let's not get caught up in the plague that ensnares the people of our culture. It's a disease that seeps into our minds with words like, "I deserve better," or "I have so much to give, if only I had the support I need." What a death-blow to our obedience to God, who alone knows our highest potential!

I am utterly indebted to His grace. My only proper response to Him is thanksgiving. I am thankful in all manner of adversity and tribulation when I remember to rejoice that my name is written in Heaven. All of this is foolishness to those who are perishing and there are so many who are perishing! Am I really spared the torment of this fallen world and it's death and darkness eternally? There are so many who will never choose Him and yet He keeps Earth turning for me and the rest of His remnant. It baffles me sometimes that I was ever so demanding of God. It's as if I put on Jesus' clothes and threw my weight around like I was owed something. Even Jesus submitted to God as a servant and humbly denied His powerful and complete potential until God the Father will release it in His time. He who could have called down ten legions of angels and set up His kingdom two thousand years ago, stopped Himself because God didn't want me to miss out. Yes, we want Jesus to return and we anticipate the day with our eyes fixed on Heavenly realms waiting for the sign of His coming. But He wants every last one of us to be born and exist whose names are written in Heaven.

Father, when I get caught up in the two-dimensional dreams others place on me, please help me to remember that You are the Author of my highest potential. When I become enamored with the gifts and abilities You've granted to me, help me to drop them the instant You offer me Your hands instead. May I break open my potential and all of my value as an alabaster jar over Your head and over Your feet and wipe them with my hair, Lord Jesus. If I find myself as a part of Your body that is hidden and yet vital, let me secure my place there and find my honor in being committed to Your body and Your guidance. If I am not the vessel that should be on display for many to see, but if I'm one built for endurance and duty let me remain strong and sturdy in Your service.

Having an audience with God is better than filling a stadium with humans who bought tickets to hear me. If I ever have a stadium-sized audience to attend to then I pray that they are there to seek God and nothing else. He's all we ever really wanted. He's the answer to all of our questions and in His presence all of our dreams come true. Only in surrendering to that fact will we ever be truly happy.

He still has a place for me despite all of my squandered potential that I lost in disobedience to Him. I came to Him with tears and begged Him to find me a place in His Kingdom, if He had one. I was sure that I had dishonored Him and done so much wrong that I could never truly be called a "Christian". Yet I knew I could not make it in a world under the dominion of the devil. When I was ready to take the lowest position in the kingdom, the hired hand of His house, He finally could truly embrace me as His child. Now I'll do anything for Him.