Turning the Page

Moving away is like dying. Part of my heart will stay here with the people who have loved me so well. I will never get that part back until I see all of them again in Heaven together to celebrate the One who gave us hearts to begin with. But how I hate to leave them for now.

Anyone who has known me for more than five years knows how much I have said good-bye. One very close friend even described me as "loving to start over" when I was in my twenties. While there was comfort in that before I had kids, now there is a heavy sorrow. Starting over with children is a completely different galaxy of emotions. How can I explain to a three-year-old that almost everything he knows will change? Faces will look strange and sounds will be new. Even the air will feel different! Fortunately there will be many things that won't change. Toys, family, and certain rituals will be such a comfort. But I know too well what it's like to seek a friend's company and not be able to find them anywhere. God made each human being wonderfully unique and no one will ever replace them.

I am reminded of God's sorrow at knowing all of mankind and having to part eternally with many of them. All of the hairs on our heads are kept track of and every thought passes before God's perception. What an honor to be able to look forward to being with Him forever and to be a part of His story of love for us. Earthly good-byes are never as painful as they could be when I am saying them to my family in Christ. I know we will meet in Heaven and the reunion under the light of God's presence will be a party that will last hundreds of years. More reasons to look forward to my true Home.

If I could express my gratitude for all that my friends have helped me with here, it would take the rest of my life. This past year or so has been a trial beyond anything I could have imagined. But the outcome is glorious and the victory is God's. I am so blessed to be a benefactor of His winnings and a collector of His plunder. My family will "eat" for years on just what God has provided us through the souls in this town.

The looking ahead is so exciting. If it's been this good so far, what could the future possibly hold? The life laid before me is going to be better than any story written by human hands. There will be dark and difficult times but the resulting victories will be unfathomably great! God is a masterful storyteller. To trust Him is to play a part of perfection. When I let my own ideas try and change His plan I am messing with God's most epic revelation of Himself. But when I surrender my ideas and imagination to His will, He allows me to add my own unique touch on it and therefore play an important role that only I could play. Is this not the most miraculous thing; that God would let a broken creation influence His perfection? He first perfects us and then trusts us to trust Him and do what we can with what is His. So I will trust Him with all He's given me and I get to be a part of God's story.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness, Diana, each time I read these pieces that you write I marvel.As the years go by your insight grows and your understanding of motherhood and marriage deepens. Whatever happens on the path that our Creator has chosen for you, you will be well, learn from and joy in it. It is a pleasure to know you, my daughter.
I love you,