God is the only Being that can judge and love at the same time. As humans we make assessments, draw conclusions, and finally decide how to respond to each person we meet. As soon as this discernment becomes a judgment we run into major trouble.
The word "judge" comes from this origin, according to Google: from Latin judex, judic-, from jus ‘law’ + dicere ‘to say.’ That would lead me to conclude that a judge decides what is right and wrong and makes the laws of the land accordingly. It's very risky business deciding for ourselves what is right and wrong. As I recall, there was a tree that gave this power to us once.
Adam and Eve's eyes were opened and they saw... themselves and each other. Suddenly they felt the urge to cover themselves, ashamed. Were they also feeling vulnerable or maybe a little disappointed? Did Adam look at Eve and say, "I judge you to be... not right. You should cover up." or perhaps Eve looked at Adam and said, "I judge you to be... wrong. You should cover yourself." Of course, we are our worst critic. Maybe they decided they didn't like the look of themselves. Or were they simply just terrified of God? Maybe they were scared He would see the truth about them; that which He already knew.
God came walking through the garden in the cool of the day. He was longing for His creation; looking for them. With His love He came and judged. He pronounced His righteous sentence and told of the way He would rescue them from it. That is the way Righteousness judges and loves at the same time. We do not have that ability, even as regenerate believers. Only God the Father can judge.
James 4:12 says, "There is only one lawgiver and judge, He who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?" Yes, who are we? Standing with our fig leaves drooping, one hand holding it up and the other pointing at another sinner's brokenness and condemning them in our hearts.
No one is asking Christians to be gay. No one is asking them to deny their Lord. Yes, brokenness is everywhere. I'm sad for couples of all kinds that suffer from sins of all kinds. What some people call "marriage" another person calls an abomination. Who cares what other people do? If your plank is bothering you, pull it out!
Which tree are you eating from today? Will you taste and see that the Lord is good and eat from the Tree of Life which is Jesus Christ? Or will you take up the bitter fruit of your fallen nature and judge for yourself what is right and wrong? My prayer is that you let God do the judging. He along knows all things, including every gay person's heart. Live at peace among all men and women. PEACE. For God's sake and your own. Hebrews 12:14 (and several other passages say similar things) Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.
I'd rather eat with "sinners" than be counted among the self-righteous. Choose peace and leave the judging up to God.